Henrik Hogg

T&C Meat Raffle

ersion 1.0 — Statutory Instrument for Prize Allocation

1. Purpose

1.1. The purpose of this document is to formally regulate, govern, and administer the distribution of assorted meat products (“The MASSIVE Prize”).
1.2. These Terms & Conditions (“T&Cs”) supersede all previous oral, written, imagined, or drunkenly promised agreements.

2. Eligibility Requirements

2.1. To be considered an Eligible Entrant, individuals must satisfy all of the following criteria:

  • 2.1.1. Age Requirement: Must be precisely 57 years of age at the time of draw. A variance of ±0 years is not permitted.
  • 2.1.2. Height Requirement: Must measure not less than 186 centimetres in official standing posture.
  • 2.1.3. Identity Requirement: Must bear the legal name Peter Hogg. Alternative spellings, nicknames, or attempts to pass as “Pete Hog,” “Petre Hogg,” or similar will be rejected.
  • 2.1.4. Occupational Requirement: Must be employed in the field of Information Technology (AI Vapourware Sales)

2.2. Failure to comply with any single criterion in Clause 2.1 shall result in immediate and irrevocable disqualification.

3. Verification Procedures

3.1. Eligible Entrants must present:

  • 3.1.1. Government-issued identification.
  • 3.1.2. Proof of height >186cm
  • 3.1.3. Confirmation of route travelled with Inka.

4. Winner Determination Process

4.1. The Prize shall be awarded exclusively to the single eligible individual who meets all requirements in Clause 2.
4.2. In the statistically improbable event that more than one person meets all criteria:

  • 4.2.1. A tie-break shall be conducted based on the speed at which entrants eat a ginger nut cookie the fastest.

5. Disputes

5.1. Any disputes, appeals, concerns, objections, inquiries, or arguments regarding these T&Cs shall be formally referred to Mr. Peter Hogg, who will adjudicate the matter.
5.2. All rulings made by Mr. Hogg shall be final, binding, and suspiciously favourable to himself.

6. Special Provisions

6.1. Any attempt to impersonate, replicate, or duplicate a Peter Hogg shall be punishable by immediate raffle expulsion and potential side-eye from organisers.
6.2. The organisers reserve the right to postpone, reschedule, or mysteriously rerun the raffle should any non-Peter-Hogg individual appear likely to win.

7. Acceptance

7.1. Entry into the raffle constitutes full, unconditional acceptance of these Terms & Conditions, whether or not the entrant has read them or understood them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!